To The Friends You Never See But Still Love

When my cousin graduated from high school, I remember crying and telling my mom that I did not want her to leave. Similarly, this past year when I watched the Class of 2016 graduate I felt as if a major part of my life was being ripped from my grasp and scattered across the nation. As a senior in high school, I have watched three different groups of seniors graduate, but none of them took as much of a toll on me as watching last year's class leave. This is for all those who I grew close to that was a part of the Class of 2016.

It feels so weird to stand where you stood; the school feels almost unordinary without a class president with a mohawk or hearing the name "Alaskan Jesus". I remember looking up to you and feeling as if your whole class towered over me, yet now that I have reached that point I feel no different except that you are gone and there are hundreds more freshman floating around in the halls. I feel obliged to carry on your legacy at pep rallies and football games, hoping to meet or exceed the standards your class put into place.

As I scroll down my Instagram feed and look at all the things you have accomplished already this year, my eyes light up with joy and excitement for you. You look so happy with your new sorority friends and people you have met on campus, and I am so glad you have finally found your place. I remember this time last year we prayed God would lead you in the right direction. I think He did. My heart does break, though, when I think about how much I miss your smile in the hallway.

I know my texts are not as frequent as they were when we saw each other every day, but please do not think that means I care about you any less. I see your tweets about being stressed sometimes and I wish I could hop on a plane and fly miles just to give you a hug. Despite the distance that might separate us physically, I will always be willing to stay up to 4 a.m. and laugh with you if you want.

I am aware that life keeps moving and as time passes staying in touch becomes harder, but I hope that somehow you still find yourself wanting to be a part of my life. I look at the old Snapchats we took in class and it makes me miss you even more. Sometimes I think I still see one of you in the parking lot. However, after a second glance, I realize it is not you and my excitement fades.

You might not spare me a second in your thoughts these days, but without a doubt lunch just is not the same without your constant laughter and puns. The songs we would belt at the top of our longs as I rode in the passenger seat of your car have become a faint murmur as I reflect on how it used to be. The doodles you drew across my binder are fading. I just sure hope you miss me the same way I miss you. I mean, there is always holiday breaks, right? Maybe I will see you then.