Tears, Fears, and Dabbing: Warmth In Winter 2017
The bell rang to release us from school on Friday, and I just couldn't wait to get in the car. I walked out of the building with a smile on my face, filled with excitement for the weekend to come. I load up into the vehicle with my siblings, and we rush home to drop off our school stuff and put our things for the trip in the car. I brought my AP Government textbook (& paper to study, but that never happened), an ancient rarely-used sleeping bag, pink duffel bag with my name on it sprawled across the front in purple embroidered letters, camera bag, and pillow. We stuffed most of it in the trunk and managed to fit ourselves in the small space that was left. I glanced around the house a couple times to check to see if I had left anything important behind, and then we headed towards Sonic to get our snack/dinner. (I ordered a grilled cheese with a large Dr. Pepper.)
Once we left Sonic, we were only seconds away from the church. We pulled into the parking lot about 15 minutes before 5:00, which was when everyone else was supposed to be there. I get out of the car to go see if I can find our youth pastor, Matt Reynolds, and while I walked through the front glass doors I heard his voice trailing off in the hallway, and I followed him to try to get some information on where to put our stuff. He informed me that all the girls need to put their stuff in the larger Sunday School classroom 208, so I make several trips up the stairs to get everything delivered to the proper room. We also rearranged the room so all the mattresses and, you know, people, would fit in there when we went to sleep; the female chaperones slept in the room across the hall from us. Anyway, we met in the youth wing briefly to discuss rules, announcements, and carpool groups once everyone had arrived. We were all very excited and that made it very hard to hear the names Matt was calling the first time for carpool assignments. I was assigned to Mrs. Sandra's car with Sarah Crace, Sarah Grace Ensey, Jeremy Roberts, and Josh Mertz, and we had such chill car rides back and forth. We proceeded to go downstairs, got into the assigned vehicles, and drove towards Opryland hotel. I rode shotgun and was named "DJ Winters" since I was the one who was in charge of what music we listened to. The music played ranged from rap, classical, rock, or pop, but regardless the songs were always accompanied by Jeremy's amazing singing! (We all liked to bug Jeremy about his voice.) The vehicles were parked at the mall and the group of us walked over to the hotel in the slightly cold and windy weather.
There was lots of time left until our first large group gathering, and in that time we loitered around the hotel, got our lanyards, and took a group picture. We also ran into our former pastor, Pastor Allen! The next step was that at about 7:40 we started to queue outside where we would have worship and everything else during the weekend. It was very cold. I had a jacket, but it was tied around my waist and I didn't really want to try to put it on such a tight space filled with so many people. As the doors opened, the masses of people flooded in to the meeting room and took their seats in the area the were assigned to based on the color they were given. We were dark blue, and for the first night we were pretty close to the back of the room. I don't remember all the logistics of Friday night, but I do remember that I was very exhausted throughout the night. They had the normal introductions, the keynote speaker talked to us (and also sang a lullaby), but probably my favorite part was worship. My friend Meg encouraged me to go up to the very front to be a part of the crowd gathered in front of the stage, and I don't regret that decisions one bit. I felt more engaged with the performance, as well as it warmed my heart to see everyone else get so pumped for the band. This band, The City Harmonic, has a special place in my heart because I've listened to their music since I was in middle school. They played many songs I knew, but there were also new ones that actually became some of my favorites by the end of the trip. But the night wasn't over after we were released from the first large gathering-- I also went to the junior and senior college fair-like experience with some of the booths of colleges set up for students to talk to other students and learn more about their religious-based programs. Finally, the few of us remaining went back to the church on the bus. We attempted to go to McDonald's but only the drive-thru was open, so we settled for Thornton's. That night I went almost directly to sleep.
Day 2 was the longest but the best. I woke up at around 6:45 a.m., changed out of my pajamas, and went downstairs for breakfast. Some of the church members did an amazing job on the food we ate such as casseroles and cinnamon cakes. Matt made announcements during this time, and Mrs. Maggie distributed manila envelopes to each of us with money in them for lunch. Afterwards, we departed and traveled again to the hotel to participate in the first workshops of the morning. All of the information about the workshops were on an app, but I didn't have the app, leading me to completely wing the whole process. I ended up picking my first workshop when I saw the back of my brother Hunter's head as he sat in a conference room waiting for the workshop to start. I sat down next to him, with the seat to my left empty. The workshop ended up being different than I imagined, but nonetheless it was still pretty informational and taught me some new things. The workshop that came afterwards was much more engaging; it was about a mission to bring to cleaner water to places like Africa where they need it the most. We did a simulation game where everyone at the workshop split into groups of ten and were given a piece of paper that had the circumstances of a refugee written on it, and each group got certain amounts of food depending on their status. The goal was to get so many of all the food items which were represented on pieces of printer paper. You could barter with other groups, buy from the "market", or get free food from the government to meet the daily quota. Our group did pretty well, considering I had never met almost half of them. The videos they showed really put it into perspective just how bad the conditions of the water in Africa are.
(In between the sessions and lunch, another gathering happened when we did worship and such, but I don't remember much about it.)
Around 1:00 my carpool group walked over to Opry Mills mall to eat lunch at the food court. I chose to eat at Burger King, but once I turned to corner to see the lines I was almost reluctant to eat anything at all. Yet, I was starving, so I proceeded to wait in line at Burger King in front of Katie and Anna from my church. When I got to the front of the line, I ordered some chicken fries, fries, and a Dr. Pepper. One thing I do recall witnessing as I waited for the food I ordered was that a man who seemed to be the manager was completely optimistic and encouraging despite the crowds of people on a Saturday. He was practically dancing as he whirled from station to station to get the costumer's order ready. And that just really made me happy. I scanned the area for familiar faces of my youth group within the food court, and it took a bit of searching until I found someone to sit with: the middle school girls. Hannah, Hope, Emily, and Elizabeth are all young youth group members that I grew up mentoring, so it was so surreal to be sitting with them during lunch at Warmth in Winter! The majority of them, including their chaperone, bought Italian as their meal of choice. My friend Parker and I ran back to the mall entrance so we could be on time to meet up with our groups to walk back over to the hotel. Rather than going to more workshops once I returned, I sat and enjoyed the mentalist's show and Battle of the Bands. I liked what Bryan (the mentalist) stood for; his catchphrase was basically it's not about what the eyes see, it's what God sees that matters. He did a few tricks that I had seen before, but many of them were unique and fascinating in their own way. And who could forget the legendary dabbing Walker? (Don't ask about it, long story LOL.)
Even though it felt like we had just ate, yet again it was time for a meal... but at least it was pizza! The district pizza party was held at a middle school just down the road. To determine who ate first, the leaders picked which side of the gym where all the groups gathered was the loudest. It wasn't us. But I awaited my two slices of Papa John's pizza patiently, and scarfed them down as soon as I sat back down. The pizza eating was the peak of excitement for that period of time, because the rest of the party consisted of playing some games that weren't very appealing to me, but they were very funny to watch.
Now, I want to tell you about the part that has sustained an image in my mind, and it's something I will likely never forget. Saturday night's worship and devotional have always been the most moving when I have gone in previous years, but for some reason I was not anticipating this year would be the same. Boy, I was wrong. It all started when they started to play "Honestly" by Carl Cartee and all were invited to the altar to pray and have a moment either in their seat or in front of the stage. Unexpectedly, another one of the youth wrapped her arms around me and said something like, "Oh, Allison..." and I was sort of taken aback by it. This was someone I haven't really had a solid conversation with, but here she was comforting me. I was at a loss for words. I knelt to the ground close to the cross in front of the stage and started to sob as I heard the song lyrics being sung. What also prompted me to cry is my gaze was fixated on the women doing sign language as the song continued. She stood in front of center stage, and I couldn't help but think of my mom in that moment. I thought about how amazing it was that they would give deaf people the chance to experience Warmth in Winter in the same amazing ways that we do, especially with worship. My eyes fluttered open and shut for a while, not sure of how to feel or what to do. While my eyes were closed, I felt many people wrap their arms around me as I gasped for air through my crying fits. There's something moving about that. You don't know who it is, but you do know that someone cares enough to let you know that they're there for you. I could feel the tears trickle down my cheeks as I opened my eyes to see Caroline by my side. I look to the left and I see another moment I will never forget. One youth is practically lying on the ground as she was bent over praying and crying (I think), and another was raised off his knees with both his hands extended high into the air as he prayed. Much of our youth group was comforting each other, and it was an amazing sight to see. (I'm going to be honest with you, I am typing the rest from this point on almost two weeks after Warmth in Winter, so my memory has faded a little.) The worship and praying part concluded, and we all went back to our seats with swollen eyes and open hearts. But the "playing with our emotions" didn't end there.
We got back to the church and Matt led another devotional. I don't remember much of what he said now, but I do remember that he spoke in such a sincere way to all of us I couldn't help but say "aw". Jacob sat on a stool with his guitar at the front beside him, and we began to sing "How He Loves". We circled up, both young and small, with our arms around each other. These moments always get to me, because all the memories of the past that I relate to that song flash before my eyes simultaneously. I think of how much we've grown as a youth group. How much I've grown. And for some reason, I decide to not hold back anything. I'm singing as loud as I can, while crying once again. I saw the faces of the people around me that I love, most of them doing the same, and I felt like I belong. I felt like even though the faces of those around me have changed over the years, the Holy Spirit moving within us has not. My aching shoulders after swaying with my arms around the people beside me hasn't changed, either. Going to bed was easy that night.
Since I'm really ready to post this, I'm just going to cut right to it. Sunday, we ate breakfast at the church, packed up our stuff, and had a bible study and one last gathering at Opryland before the weekend concluded. A highlight of the bible study was that we ended up singing "How He Loves" again, but not all of the youth group was there. As the song started, I glanced from side to side at those surrounding me. Were we going to actually do this like we always did? And, of course, we did. The (about) fifteen of us wrapped our arms around each other and screamed the "sloppy wet kiss" part. The last gathering finished with the crowd screaming for an encore as the band walked off stage. I watched them pull of their headsets, making their way to the doors. But they stopped, looked at each other, and got up on stage for one last song. And all too soon, it was over.
There were ups and downs to the trip, but overall it was an amazing weekend that I will never forget. I love my church family so much, and I cannot wait for what the future has in store for us.
Through the tears welling up in the corners of my eyes,
To the silly dances led by Don,
To the donut communion,
To late nights and early mornings,
To our arms wrapped around each other screaming "sloppy wet kiss",
To dabbing competitions,
To brisk walks between the hotel and gathering place,
To the jumping up and down until your feet hurts,
To the rushing to the front of the stage to be closer to the band,
To the memories of times I will never forget.
I will never stop pursuing you, Lord.
I sure am going to miss this.
(In between the sessions and lunch, another gathering happened when we did worship and such, but I don't remember much about it.)
Around 1:00 my carpool group walked over to Opry Mills mall to eat lunch at the food court. I chose to eat at Burger King, but once I turned to corner to see the lines I was almost reluctant to eat anything at all. Yet, I was starving, so I proceeded to wait in line at Burger King in front of Katie and Anna from my church. When I got to the front of the line, I ordered some chicken fries, fries, and a Dr. Pepper. One thing I do recall witnessing as I waited for the food I ordered was that a man who seemed to be the manager was completely optimistic and encouraging despite the crowds of people on a Saturday. He was practically dancing as he whirled from station to station to get the costumer's order ready. And that just really made me happy. I scanned the area for familiar faces of my youth group within the food court, and it took a bit of searching until I found someone to sit with: the middle school girls. Hannah, Hope, Emily, and Elizabeth are all young youth group members that I grew up mentoring, so it was so surreal to be sitting with them during lunch at Warmth in Winter! The majority of them, including their chaperone, bought Italian as their meal of choice. My friend Parker and I ran back to the mall entrance so we could be on time to meet up with our groups to walk back over to the hotel. Rather than going to more workshops once I returned, I sat and enjoyed the mentalist's show and Battle of the Bands. I liked what Bryan (the mentalist) stood for; his catchphrase was basically it's not about what the eyes see, it's what God sees that matters. He did a few tricks that I had seen before, but many of them were unique and fascinating in their own way. And who could forget the legendary dabbing Walker? (Don't ask about it, long story LOL.)
Even though it felt like we had just ate, yet again it was time for a meal... but at least it was pizza! The district pizza party was held at a middle school just down the road. To determine who ate first, the leaders picked which side of the gym where all the groups gathered was the loudest. It wasn't us. But I awaited my two slices of Papa John's pizza patiently, and scarfed them down as soon as I sat back down. The pizza eating was the peak of excitement for that period of time, because the rest of the party consisted of playing some games that weren't very appealing to me, but they were very funny to watch.
Now, I want to tell you about the part that has sustained an image in my mind, and it's something I will likely never forget. Saturday night's worship and devotional have always been the most moving when I have gone in previous years, but for some reason I was not anticipating this year would be the same. Boy, I was wrong. It all started when they started to play "Honestly" by Carl Cartee and all were invited to the altar to pray and have a moment either in their seat or in front of the stage. Unexpectedly, another one of the youth wrapped her arms around me and said something like, "Oh, Allison..." and I was sort of taken aback by it. This was someone I haven't really had a solid conversation with, but here she was comforting me. I was at a loss for words. I knelt to the ground close to the cross in front of the stage and started to sob as I heard the song lyrics being sung. What also prompted me to cry is my gaze was fixated on the women doing sign language as the song continued. She stood in front of center stage, and I couldn't help but think of my mom in that moment. I thought about how amazing it was that they would give deaf people the chance to experience Warmth in Winter in the same amazing ways that we do, especially with worship. My eyes fluttered open and shut for a while, not sure of how to feel or what to do. While my eyes were closed, I felt many people wrap their arms around me as I gasped for air through my crying fits. There's something moving about that. You don't know who it is, but you do know that someone cares enough to let you know that they're there for you. I could feel the tears trickle down my cheeks as I opened my eyes to see Caroline by my side. I look to the left and I see another moment I will never forget. One youth is practically lying on the ground as she was bent over praying and crying (I think), and another was raised off his knees with both his hands extended high into the air as he prayed. Much of our youth group was comforting each other, and it was an amazing sight to see. (I'm going to be honest with you, I am typing the rest from this point on almost two weeks after Warmth in Winter, so my memory has faded a little.) The worship and praying part concluded, and we all went back to our seats with swollen eyes and open hearts. But the "playing with our emotions" didn't end there.
We got back to the church and Matt led another devotional. I don't remember much of what he said now, but I do remember that he spoke in such a sincere way to all of us I couldn't help but say "aw". Jacob sat on a stool with his guitar at the front beside him, and we began to sing "How He Loves". We circled up, both young and small, with our arms around each other. These moments always get to me, because all the memories of the past that I relate to that song flash before my eyes simultaneously. I think of how much we've grown as a youth group. How much I've grown. And for some reason, I decide to not hold back anything. I'm singing as loud as I can, while crying once again. I saw the faces of the people around me that I love, most of them doing the same, and I felt like I belong. I felt like even though the faces of those around me have changed over the years, the Holy Spirit moving within us has not. My aching shoulders after swaying with my arms around the people beside me hasn't changed, either. Going to bed was easy that night.
Since I'm really ready to post this, I'm just going to cut right to it. Sunday, we ate breakfast at the church, packed up our stuff, and had a bible study and one last gathering at Opryland before the weekend concluded. A highlight of the bible study was that we ended up singing "How He Loves" again, but not all of the youth group was there. As the song started, I glanced from side to side at those surrounding me. Were we going to actually do this like we always did? And, of course, we did. The (about) fifteen of us wrapped our arms around each other and screamed the "sloppy wet kiss" part. The last gathering finished with the crowd screaming for an encore as the band walked off stage. I watched them pull of their headsets, making their way to the doors. But they stopped, looked at each other, and got up on stage for one last song. And all too soon, it was over.
There were ups and downs to the trip, but overall it was an amazing weekend that I will never forget. I love my church family so much, and I cannot wait for what the future has in store for us.
Through the tears welling up in the corners of my eyes,
To the silly dances led by Don,
To the donut communion,
To late nights and early mornings,
To our arms wrapped around each other screaming "sloppy wet kiss",
To dabbing competitions,
To brisk walks between the hotel and gathering place,
To the jumping up and down until your feet hurts,
To the rushing to the front of the stage to be closer to the band,
To the memories of times I will never forget.
I will never stop pursuing you, Lord.
I sure am going to miss this.
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