Senior Year Is Ending, And I Don't Know How I Feel About It

I go to type this over and over again, sometimes considering writing it as a poem. But I don't know how to put what I am feeling into words.

Words that make sense.

Seniors are posting cap and gown pictures, counting down the days to graduation.

May 22nd seems to approach faster than I anticipated.

I'm supposed to be excited, right?

And sometimes I am.

Sometimes I am thankful I won't have to deal with the horrible traffic and underclassmen almost hitting my car in the afternoon,

Sometimes I am glad I will never have to worry about another yearbook deadline that makes me stay up until 3:00 in the morning,

Sometimes I am happy knowing that I don't have to fear for my life when I am shoved going down the spiral staircase,

Sometimes I am grateful that I won't be waking up at 6 a.m. this time next year.

But sometimes, I am not.

Because sometimes those underclassmen are the ones who made you laugh in one of your required classes,

Because sometimes making a yearbook made you who you are,

Because sometimes you got to talk to friends you hadn't seen in a while when you walked down the spiral staircase to your next class,

Because sometimes waking up early means making more memories.

And I am sad.

I am sad when I imagine a world without these people in it.

I will miss the "hop on pops",

I will miss watching buddies shine on the stage of that small, old theater,

I will miss the slow Chromebooks that I spent so many hours typing away on,

I will miss running back and forth between classes,

I will miss the vending machines that only sometimes gave me what I paid for,

I will miss the football games where the student section buzzed with excitement and beat on trashcans as drums,

I will miss the ringing in my ears following a pep rally,

I will miss waving to friends in the hallway,

I will miss the morning talks in the cafeteria,

I will miss the booming voice of Mr. Parks telling kids to leave the commons to go to class,

I will miss the donuts and devotionals from FCA on a Friday morning,

I will miss the prayer circles that started my week off on the right foot,

I will miss the playing of the national anthem over the intercom (even when it cuts off),

I will miss walking in circles in the commons during Lifetime Wellness and meeting my new best friend,

I will miss the constant laughter that seems to overwhelm me whenever I am around my friends,

I will miss walking into choir and being surrounded by a group of people who brighten my day,

I will miss feeling like I was a part of something.

But I know there's great things ahead, even I am unsure of what those great things are.

My major may change, but so will I.

My friends might move away after high school, but it'll be okay.

Those underclassmen might forget my name, but I won't dare try to forget them.

So May 22nd, see you soon,

But please let me enjoy the time I have left.

Senior Breakfast, Senior Walk, Prom, Senior Awards Ceremony, Field Day, Yearbook delivery day, Spring Choir Concert, Graduation.

I may fear the future, but I do not regret the past.