& I will hold on to you.

June 2nd, at 6:21 p.m., I asked my friends Hailey and Kaylie in our group message if either of them were free June 30th. Kaylie told me she'd still be in California, but Hailey said she was free. I started to get excited. Was this really going to happen? We still had a lot of details to work out.

By June 7th, I had talked it over with my dad and we got tickets in the nosebleeds. We had a plan. Things were coming together.

On the 9th I started to make my poster and preparing for the show.

And I would countdown the days. I was so excited to see Taylor again for the first time since February 2017.

The morning on June 30th, I opened my eyes slowly. I was already tired from not being able to sleep from the excitement. But after a few minutes of being up, I jumped out of bed and ran around the house with a grin on my face. I put on my sparkly "incredible things" shirt and black skirt. I searched for Keri's Keds shoes to borrow. I had packed my duffel bag the night before so I'd be all set to go. Eventually, I did find them, and at that point I was just waiting for Hailey to come pick me up! My dad was watching this show featuring Ozzy Osbourne and his family. We watched that for a while. It showed them doing activities like goat yoga or going to ostrich farms. It was quite funny, actually.

My phone lit up with the notification that Hailey was on her way at 11:51 a.m.. She pulled up in her car and my sister ran out to greet her, carrying all five of water bottles I refrigerated for the long, hot day ahead. I waved goodbye to my siblings, gave my dad a hug, and went outside with my arms filled with my belongings for the weekend. I placed it all in the back of her car and made my way to the passenger side and placed some stuff down where my feet would be. Keri waved goodbye to us, and we were off. Not before getting too far down the road, though, we stopped to get gas and snacks. I got a bag of sour cream and onion chips and Bugles. 

Hailey's AC doesn't work, so it was a windows-down kind of road trip both there and back. Which was actually not as bad as you'd think. Keri let me use her iPod to have road trip music, so we shuffled that for a majority of the ride. Glitter was flying off my shirt in the wind-- it was everywhere. I'll never forget the feeling of air smacking the loose strands of hair against my face with Taylor Swift blaring in the background. I'd try to say something to Hailey or vice versa and we'd have to yell just to hear each other. 

I watched as the miles to Louisville decreased in increments of 10, 20, 100. The road work at times was frustrating, with sometimes only one lane functioning, but we got there. We first went to Hailey's boyfriend's house, who lives on the edge of Louisville. Jacob (her boyfriend) was letting us stay at his house rather than having to drive back so late after the show and he also offered to take us to and from the venue so we wouldn't have to pay for parking. He's such a gem. He offered us water since we obviously looked worn out and tired from the ride.

Then, we ate dinner at Raising Cane's. It resembled a Zaxby's in a lot of ways. I had Chick-fil-a the night before, but I mean, who can refuse more chicken? I drank water in hopes it would help keep me hydrated before we braved the horrific heat at the stadium. It was so nice getting to sit there and just enjoy Jacob and Hailey's company for a while, and seeing them together makes my heart happy.

Our next stop was Papa John's Cardinal Stadium. I did delay our arrival by a little, though. My stomach was not having the best of times in the car, so they allowed me to run in to a gas station to use the bathroom. And gas station bathrooms are never consistent. Some don't even have public bathrooms. So I go in there, and from a distance I can read that there's a sign on the women's restroom that says "ask cashier for key" or something like that. I'm jogging at this point. I turn around to the cashier and utter in one breath "CanIHaveTheKeyToTheBathroom", hoping he will understand the urgency. I don't even remember if he said anything, but he motioned me towards the bathrooms and handed me this huge stick thing with a key at the end. Kind of extra, but alright.

We left there and were on track the stadium. There were a few hiccups on how to get there, but we were there! Jacob let us out and we crossed the street to get to the stadium. I had all my items in a gallon Ziploc bag as they were supposed to be. I had my ticket screenshots, and if that didn't work I was going to pull them up on my Google Pay wallet. Or Ticketmaster, if it'd ever load with my little service. We hopped in line to go through security. A lady used her wand scanner to check the both of us. A man to the left of her, though. Asked me to open my "little purse" for him. It might have just been the adrenaline and amount of people getting to me, but I had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't bring a purse, this is obviously a clear bag. He asked like three times before Hailey helped me out and I was like oh, my wallet. I rummaged through the bag to pull it out to open it for him. He nodded and let us through. My screenshots worked for our tickets, which was less stressful for me, and we were inside.

Where we entered, there was a grassy area where loads of fans were sitting. You could tell so many of these people had been here for a while. Merch tables were everywhere, queues for food and drinks were outrageous. I knew our seats were high up, so we climbed up the closest stairs. Man, if I wasn't already out of breath and hot, I sure was then. We got to one level and thought that's where we needed to be, when we still had to go up one more level. We took the ramp after that. We found our seats in section 11. We were the start of row R. Although we were higher up, the stadium itself (like the field) was not very large. I felt closer to the main stage. The angle we had was pretty good to see all three parts of her stage.

We hadn't been sitting for very long when her first opening act, Charli XCX took the stage. She played lots of her popular songs. After a few songs, Hailey asked if it was okay if she went to go get bottled water, and I went with her. The wait was not very long, and the concession stand was close to our section. Each bottle was ice cold, and the cashier would even remove the top for you to start drinking it right then and there. It was like $3.50 per bottle, but I wasn't going to pass that up. You could also get free cups of ice to fill up with water at the water fountains. But I just figured I'd spend the money anyway. Hailey went to the bathroom and I watched her things as she waited in line. A girl sat on the ground next to me, charging her phone with the outlet beside her. I thought that was pretty smart. Two other girls sat down on the other side of phone girl, and asked phone girl to take their picture against the white brick wall we were all leaning against. By the time that happened, Hailey was back. Charli's set ended, and there was a brief intermission to set the stage up for her second opening act, Camila Cabello. My internet friend then texted me saying it's okay if I couldn't make it over to see her, because she was seated near the floor on the other side of the stadium. I basically took that as a challenge. I turned to Hailey immediately and asked her if it was okay if I went to go say hi to someone, and she said she wanted to come with me. So we left. 

We went back down the stairs, down to the main level where most everyone was at. That's where the most traffic was, and it was insanity. I brushed shoulders with so many different people. From fans wearing snake crowns, to little girls in tutus. At one point someone spilled their beverage on Hailey's flip flops. I saw a stretcher go by with a little girl on it. The heat was so real, you guys. It was so hot. We had to keep moving, though, we were almost there. We got to her section and tried to go down to her seats, but soon realized they were checking tickets. I'm sure we could have told them we were visiting a friend, but I was too intimidated. We turned around and went back through the tunnel in front of her section. I almost thought we would not get to see her. I texted her and told her what the deal was. She started to search for us and said she didn't see us. I was losing hope that I would get to see her. I'm looking down at my phone, waiting for my messages to go through, and my friend who we were looking for was right in front of me! Savannah! She was wearing a white "reputation" shirt and some cute black shorts. We hugged immediately and started talking to each other. It was so unreal to see her in front of me. We've been in a Taylor Swift group message together for almost four years now. I introduced her to Hailey. She talked about how she recognized her from the pictures I posted of her as Christine in "Phantom" and that made Hailey so happy. We hugged a couple more times and parted ways. 

By the time we got to our seats once more, Camila's set was ending. Taylor was next. Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation" played right before she was set to take the stage. I knew that, and motioned at Hailey for us to stand as the introduction video started. She appeared on stage, and the whole stadium lost it. It was time for the show.

Concerts always have a way of flying by. Some moments seem to last longer than others, but sooner than you know it, it's all over. Being in the nosebleeds was an incredible experience, though, especially as we got to see the light up bracelets in action. The whole stadium was a sea of color. The different graphics Taylor had planned for the crowd to look like. Awe-inspiring, really. (You could also see fireworks going off in distance everywhere behind the stadium.) To hear her organically speak about Kentucky, about the heat, about fans. It felt like she was just having a personal conversation with thousands of us. I forgot about how they build in time for costume and set changes, just like a Broadway show, for her concerts. But every transition was seamless. She walked through the crowd at one point, and kissed a dog someone brought. That was for sure a highlight. 

When she brought out the piano for the "Long Live/ New Year's Day" mashup, I knew I wasn't going to make it through without crying. Most everyone was sitting for that, but I knew I couldn't sit. I had stand for Taylor. Even though my feet were killing me. I sang along the whole time and mouthed the words when I started to tear up. Then she transitioned into New Year's Day, where she says "don't read the last page, but I stay". And that's so true. I've been seeing her in concert for seven years now. I've never left her side. Also, the last time I heard "Long Live" live, I was so tiny. I was a middle schooler. That was mind-blowing. After that special moment, though, I hear a voice behind me yelling.

I didn't turn all the way down, but I could've sworn she was yelling at me. She said something about sitting down, so immediately I sat down, with fear in my heart and tears of horror welling up in my eyes. Was this woman genuinely mad at me for standing during the show? I had noticed they had been seated the whole show, but surely they would have said something to me sooner, right? So I stayed seated. I turned to Hailey and told her what I thought happened. I didn't move for two songs, then the last song began. I turned back around and asked the woman in a trembling voice if it was okay for me to stand, since it was the last song. Her mood had completely shifted and she was like, "Yes, of course!" I was relieved but still shaken up. I sang along as Taylor took her final bows and even before the last song started people were already starting to leave their seats to go home. The lights came on, the stage was empty, and everything I looked forward to for weeks was over. I turned around one last time to apologize to the family behind me for being in there way, and she said it was okay. Once we started to leave ourselves, I realized something. What if the woman wasn't even talking to me? After I apologized the last time, I heard her turn to her daughter and yelled at her the same way I thought she was yelling at me, telling her to sit down as people left. She had been talking to her daughter this whole time. Thank goodness. Or at least, that's the narrative I'm going to believe for now.

We took the ramp back down to the ground level, and the atmosphere was similar to that of Bridgestone Arena after a Preds victory. Tired, excitement, singing, clapping, hollering. Jacob called my phone to see if we could get back to where he dropped us off. I told him we were on our way. We left the stadium and went across the street. The wait to cross the street AGAIN was long, so we followed another group of people who were cutting through the parking lot. It ended up leading us to a place where we had to step over a rail and jump down to keep walking. That was a scary thought wearing this black skirt of mine, but Hailey and another kind lady helped me to the ground. I called Jacob again to tell him we couldn't get to where he dropped us off, but to see if he could meet us in the parking lot of a hotel we were walking towards. He said okay. Well, it ended up not being easy getting to THAT hotel, so we were in the parking lot of the hotel in front of it. Hailey talked to him during the third phone call. He happened to be driving towards us, across the street. That was such a blessing it worked out that he was right there. So, we asked the police officer in front of us if we could get to his car that was feet in front of us. He looked both ways and told us to go now. 

Jacob gave us cold waters when we got in his car. He had his playlist going, and was talking to Hailey, but I don't remember much of that ride. I was exhausted, sad it was over, and also tweeting nonstop. I had to tweet about every moment so I could go back and remember it later, and you know, write things like this. I was trying to figure out who got Rep Room (her after-show meet and greets) and scrolling through my notifications. I was sweaty, tired, sunburnt. Ready for a shower. At one point we saw a guy who had a whole canoe(?) sticking out the back of his van, doors partially open, and three deer crossed the road near his neighborhood.

His family stayed up to greet us, which was sweet. They gave us towels, shampoo, and everything else to go shower. We both showered and felt instantly at least a little better and cleaner. Jacob turned on a few episodes of "Parks & Rec" before he went back upstairs and we went to sleep. 

I stayed up a little longer after Hailey fell asleep, scrolling through social media and texting others who were at the show. Then, I curled up on the couch downstairs and tried to sleep. Every part of my body was sore. My neck hurt from jamming out so hard, my feet hurt from standing, which somehow also made my legs hurt. Every time I opened my eyes I could see the bright red glow of the tour bracelet bouncing off the wall. 

The next morning, Jacob's family made us breakfast. We ate with them, and it was so interesting to just hear the banter between him, his siblings and his parents. And they also have an exchange student named Amy who ate with us. We watched more P&R before sadly leaving. Hailey hugged Jacob and everyone goodbye. I thanked them for everything. I petted his dog Groot goodbye, who I think might be new best friend.

The roads lead us back home. She let me out at my house, and got out of the car to hug me. It was the end of our little journey. But, it was an amazing one.

So thank you, Hailey, for coming with me. For singing along to every song, and comforting me when I was stressed, Thank you Jacob, for making this trip a reality and being so hospitable to us. Thank you to Jacob's family for welcoming us with open arms, even when we got back late and woke up almost at lunch time. Thank you to the Preciado family and Ms. Turner for allowing me to take photos for them, which paid my way for the tickets. I will never forget this. It was the highlight of summer for me.

I will always hold on to these memories.

Love always,

Allison