New Mexico: It Ain't New, and It Ain't Mexico

May 4th: May the Fourth Be With Us

May 4th is where our story begins. It was the beginning of one of the longest, but best weeks of my life.

Around 8:30 a.m., I woke up to get dressed for the ceremony. Graduation itself didn't start until 10, but I had to be there early to photograph things before it got too crowded. So, I did what I was instructed to do, and I took photos of the most interesting and fun caps I saw. I didn't intend to stay the whole time but I did.

I had just enough time to finish packing for the trip and start uploading photos in between ceremonies. Hallie drove me down to the Wesley building where I dropped off my luggage, and then took me down to the Mini-dome where graduation was happening; the plan was Hana Lee and I are were going to leave directly after the graduation ceremony to get to Knoxville. So after I get my second round of graduation pictures and the undergraduates start to receive their diplomas, I sneak out. I got the coverage I needed. I walk outside and it's pouring rain. I tried to call Hallie to come pick me up, but she did not answer, so I trudge up the hill accepting the fact I'll just be drenched.

I make it back to the Wesley building with like 45 minutes until we're set to leave. I let my phone charge as much as possible to prep for the road trip ahead. I sit down in the conference room for a while, snacking on some Fritos and a cup of water. Slowly but surely more Wesley folks show up: Carson, then Tanner, then Zach, then Olivia. (Maybe not that order, but something like that.) Carson and Tanner play ping pong as they wait to leave. Eventually John, too, shows up, and they load up the vehicles. (I'm still waiting because I'm not leaving until Hana Lee is done at graduation.) Carson and Zach get some pieces of cake from the fridge before departing. I wave goodbye to them and say I'll see them later.

Only about 15 minutes later, Hana Lee arrives and rolls up to help me load my things into her car. Hallie also shows up to say goodbye to us! And then we were off. We listened to a lot of classic rock, along with some bops from Hairspray. It was genuinely such a great time because rarely do I ever get to hang out with just Hana Lee. She talked to me about nursing school, and I told her about my family and my semester.

We pulled up to the hotel, and as we got closer all of my Wesley friends came into focus; I could see them waiting outside with their luggage. Hana Lee parked the car and we got out and greeted everyone. Groups of us went in together to check in to our rooms; they had to have our IDS and car information if we drove. I checked into a room on the first floor while everyone else was on the second floor. Then, we all dropped our stuff off in the rooms and met back in the lobby. It was time to go eat!

We ate as a group at a Cheddar's in Knoxville. The car I rode in got there first, so we put the name under "Wesley" and waited on everyone else. At first they tried to seat us in this round, corner booth, but with there being like 11 of us at the time, that was going to be a tight fit. They found us another table. The most notable part of the dining experience was Caitlyn showed up towards the end and ordered this cake that was like three times bigger than she expected.

I had about an hour of an empty room before Hannah and Rebecca, my other two hotel roommates, finally showed up. During that hour I just laid in bed watching Ratatouille and scrolling through my phone fighting to stay awake.

We all settled in, and I tried to sleep that night. I really did try, but I just couldn't shut my body off. My legs were still sore from graduation, and I guess I was just too stoked about the trip. I gave up and just stayed up the rest of the night once I realized I only had two hours left before I had to wake up. (It also didn't help that the AC unit sounded like someone loudly banging on the door every time it started up. It made that noise almost every 30 minutes.)

May 5th: Fake Departure Day

No sleep, but it's airport day.

We roll all our luggage into the lobby and congregate there loudly as we await everyone's arrival so we can leave together. We check out of our rooms and head to the church in Alcoa. We travel the desolate roads that take us to this church, where the drivers are supposed to leave their cars all week and a church van is going to transport us to the Knoxville airport. Luggage is moved from vehicle to van, and we all load into the church van ready to depart. It's still dark-thirty outside.

At the airport, we get inside and get in line to start the process of getting our boarding passes and checking our bags. The line is already pretty long, so we're a little worried about making our flight. But, after not long of standing in the airport, John reports to us that we missed our flight.

My heart sank.
Like really, truly, this couldn't be happening.
This trip I had waiting all year for is already going wrong.

Okay, deep breaths. Now what?

I had never been in this situation before.

Our group moved out of the line and to the side as John and Momma Lisa sorted out what our next plan of action was.

(Our original flight got moved to earlier, but we were never alerted.)

Some sat on top of their luggage bags, others laid down on the airport floor. The sky outside was still grim and gloomy at the early hour of the morning. I can still see the water dripping off the overhang outside, and the green-speckled floor where we sat for what felt like an eternity. Ben played his Switch, Rebecca read weird facts off her phone. We were in limbo until official word was given. And it was.

We wouldn't be able to leave until the next day. And the flight would be early. Not only that, but Ketura and John would have to fly separate from us. It was the only way. So, we would be spending the rest of the day in Knoxville and try again for our flight May 6th.

It's important to note, though, that we were disappointed but no one reacted poorly. We came up with an alternate game plan before the sun had even risen: we were going to eat at Cracker Barrel and go see the newest Avengers movie to pass time. John called the hotel and he re-booked the rooms we stayed in the night prior.

We went back to the hotel and ate complimentary breakfast there in the lobby. After breakfast some went back to the rooms and slept, but quite a few of us stayed and played card games. We played Go Fish, ERS, Phase 10. I hadn't slept, so trying to remember how to play even the simplest of games proved to be a challenge and everything was funny to me. Delirious me is not a version of me you probably want to ever meet. We played cards for like 3 hours before heading out for the afternoon.

Cracker Barrel had a fairly long wait. It was a Sunday afternoon, I mean. What else would you expect? Ben and Zach played each other in checkers, the rest of us sat in the rocking chairs and talked. Or we sat in the chairs that weren't wet from the rain. We did get seated together, and I sat at the end of the table. I loved sitting on the end, because then I could look out and see everyone in front of me. :) I ordered french toast.

There was a little time preceding the movie, so we walked around the mall a little bit in groups. I was with Hannah and Rebecca; I took pictures as they tried on formal dresses at JC Penney's.

Once we made it to the movie and it started, not gonna lie, I drifted in and out of sleep. I was exhausted, man. And I mean, I had already seen the movie once. The best part of seeing it with Wesley was watching people react during and afterwards.

We ordered pizza and ate it in the hotel lobby. We didn't have any plates, so we just ate off of napkins. And the ice for our drinks we got from the ice machine down the hall.

I sat in the lobby talking with Ben, Hannah, and Zach until like 10 p.m.. Then it was time for sleep. Like please, I needed it desperately.

So I fell asleep in our room to the sound of Rebecca's phone generating an artificial noise that resembled that of a fan. It did somehow help, I think.

May 6th: Now We're Really Leaving

Alright, let's have a redo, shall we?

Got up at 2:30 a.m.. I have a few hours of sleep. Cool cool, off to a decent start. We went through the same process, but this time we did actually get our bags checked and everything was good. We were one of the first groups in line at TSA and the only hiccups we had were Tanner had a bag of popcorn and Aleena had a lot of liquids in her carry-on bag.

The first stop past security for like 75% of our group was Starbucks. We boarded our first flight from Knoxville to Chicago.

That flight, I got to watch the sun rise. It was beautiful and to me was reassurance that this trip was still going to be okay. Suddenly the sleep from my eyes disappeared and my worries washed away. It feels good to finally be going.

It was back to the waiting stage as we landed at the O'Hare airport. We had like a two hour layover. Although it was still pre-typical lunch time, many Wesley members scoured the area for food. Most ate at the Subway nearest to where we sat.

Rebecca made up a scavenger hunt, searching for certain kinds of people or things at the airport, so a few of us joined her for that. I also just walked around on my own for a while, remembering what it was like to be in this airport when I was younger.

The sound of baggage wheels rolling rung in my ears for hours. Phone conversations filled my subconscious, and I couldn't help but almost get run over by those airport security people on their carts because I couldn't focus my attention on anything specific. I lazily trailed behind trying to absorb it all.

I watched Hannah and Ben play each other in virtual chess, Tanner was asleep a few tables away, and another table played Uno during the break.

Flight #2 was longer and more visually stimulating. Chicago to Albuquerque. I had the window seat! I watched as the landscape transformed and the flatland turned into mountainous landscapes. The ground beneath me looked unlike anything I had ever seen before.

We got our bags at baggage claim as John and Rebecca went to go get the vans. I was responsible for getting Rebecca's while she was away. Thankfully everyone was able to get their luggage. We waited outside to get picked up. Even now, I really could not tell you why it took so long to get those dang vans. But we waited, and waited.

We ate at Little Anita's in Old Town where I tried green chile and frybread for the first time. Let me just tell you, I would die for frybread. It's so good. 10/10 would recommend. I had green chile on a chicken sandwich and it was amazing, but I just cannot handle most anything spicy.

I enjoyed getting to explore Old Town after. I was with Ben, Rebecca, Hannah, and Ketura. We went into this beautiful photo gallery first that showed off amazing photos mainly from the area. There was also a shop with all kinds of soap and just some general shopping areas that you would expect. I learned that crossing the street in NM can be slightly horrifying. People drive so fast there.

The next part of the journey is what felt like the longest: the drive to Shiprock. None of us knew it was going to take around 3 hours, but it did. We were all breaking at this point since we had been together so long and been up so long. To past time we played games like "my cow" (which got very intense) and Bagel Wharf. I won't even try to explain them to you, but. (Also tried to play a game of telephone and we learned we're so bad at communicating.)

Right before getting to Shiprock, we stopped at Walmart to get groceries for at least a couple days. By the time we all got back in the van, we slept in silence for the last 30 minutes. Made it there, and slept.

May 7th: The First Work Day

Ah yes, so finally, time to get to the work part!

Woke up that morning and had cereal and biscuits and cereal for breakfast.

My work group was Ben, Hannah. and Zach. The four of us were first assigned the task of cleaning out a shed at the compound and reorganizing it.

So we pulled it all out, little by little. There were at least 15 shovels, 3 wheel barrows, tool boxes, a volleyball set, a printer, ladders, lots of old paint and paint supplies, a flower painting, boards with old mission team pictures on them, etc. The hardest of the things to carry was bags of concrete mix: that took the combined arm strength of Hannah and I. We took a lunch break right as we about moved everything out of the shed and swept.

We finished up the shed after lunch then helped the other group that was on site with us. They had spent the first half of the morning scraping vinyl covering off of shelving to prep them to be painted later. We ended the work day painting the walls of one of the rooms of the thrift shop orange. I got to use a roller! Our construction leader Calvin taught me how to properly paint a wall with a roller-- roll in long strokes... and if lines appear, gently press on them and roll up and they will disappear.

Tanner took a group picture of the all of us at the end of the day and we went back to the compound and waited on dinner. As we waited, Ben, Hannah, and I listened as Calvin shared stories about working in construction. Dinner was Navajo Tacos... on, you guessed it, F R Y B R E A D. INCREDIBLE. So good.

Getting to see Shiprock was another memorable part of the trip. We ate then took about a 10 minute drive to visit the rock formation closest to our compound. It did require us to drive down this lengthy dirt road. It was truly my first glimpse at what the West was like. There was sagebrush everywhere, a few flowers springing up here and there, dust swirling in the air. Jagged rocks stuck up from the earth. Silhouettes of people lined the rocks as the sun began to set. We took turns taking pictures of each other and got a group picture together. Carson picked some of the wildflowers and Aleena led a devotion at Shiprock about the beauty of the Earth. As she spoke, the birds chirped around us and the sky had reached what I call "blue hour"; everything was deeply blue. On the drive back, the city lights far from Shiprock lit the horizon like Christmas lights.

Momma Lisa had brownies and ice cream there for us when we got back. I video called Hallie, and ended the night talking to Hannah, Ben, and Ketura about why people have red eyes in pictures.

May 8th: Cultural Day

Pancakes and bacon for breakfast. It seemed like a promising morning.

We left around 10:00 a.m. to start the activities for our "cultural day". We picked up our guide, Frank, at a gas station, and then rode in the van once more for a very long time to get to Canyon de Chelly in Arizona. We drove through the mountains that still had snow on them. There were a few stops along the way, including Wheatfields, AZ where there was a little store with drinks and snacks and a bathroom.

We ate lunch outside at the Canyon de Chelly Visitor's Center. Frank told us about how when you enter a hogan, you always enter it from the left, and greet everyone as you enter. He told us about Skinwalkers... I won't get into that. They're kind of creepy. I bought a hat at the gift shop there.

From there, we went to our first scenic outlook. It was simultaneously horrifying and breathtaking.

I sat down at the top and closed my eyes and just tried to take it all in. I could hear Ketura climbing the rocks to my left, Hannah and Ben were chatting. Aleena and Rebecca came and sat beside me. Olivia, Hana Lee, and Carson were taking turns taking pictures of each other. John and Momma Lisa were taking pictures and talking to others. 

Next was when we were supposed to hike down the Canyon to the White House rock formation. But, it was raining. And it showed no signs of stopping. As we got out of the van to discuss and at least go look at what we could, John realizes he doesn't know where his backpack is. So, he goes back to the Visitor's Center to see if he left it there.

I walk down the ramp to look out and see what I can see in the meantime; I see a rock surface that reminds me of the face of a dragon. I am shivering from the cold rain starting to seep through my denim jacket and the wind brushing against my skin.

John still isn't back.

We get back in the van and just wait. While we're sitting, a man approaches the passenger seat side and Frank rolls down the window and speaks to him in Navajo and translates for us. The stranger says that he has spent the night here because he ran out of gas and needs money. In exchange for money, he offers a totem pole he has carved. Before even seeing the totem pole, Carson offers to buy it for 20$. So, she gets the totem pole, and you would think it stops there. But no. The man says he will come back and show us a bigger one he has made. Without any hesitation, he brings this MASSIVE totem pole over and starts shoving it through the passenger seat window. He says he will sell it for $80. For a lot of reasons this put up some red flags: 1) none of us can drop $80 right now 2) How on earth would you get that back in a suitcase?!? We politely declined. But Carson had a new totem pole that would be named Jerry. He became the mascot of the trip.

John and Lisa come back and come to the passenger seat window and talk to Frank and Rebecca. Everything was stolen out of the bag when he found it. Including money, chargers, etc. We were heartbroken for him. John really did deserve better. We were stunned to silence.

Alas, we went on to Spider Rock because that didn't require any hiking. Yet again, not everyone got out because at this point it was pouring rain. But, we came this far, might as well go for it, right? Frank told us the story of Spider Rock. It is believed that Spider-Woman lives at the bottom of the formation. She has all the knowledge about weaving and such, hence the "spider" part. Not gonna lie, it sounded more ominous at first, but now I just wanna BE Spider-Woman. Queen of weaving!

We went back to the White House overlook one last time because Rebecca didn't get to get out the first time. All of us sat in the van as she took her time. Through the walkie talkies we told jokes to Ketura and Momma Lisa who were in the other van.

Our dinner plans got messed up since we didn't get to hike, so we improvised. I literally just ate frybread at this place. #NoRegrets.

Post-dinner John almost couldn't get the gate of the compound to open. He tried all the keys. Luckily Momma Lisa told us she prayed that God would open the gate when she tried, and it did open.

I concluded the night by talking to Rebecca and Momma Lisa about service and Wesley itself.

May 9th: Back to Work

Breakfast was cereal and toast for me.

Calvin wasn't on site yet, so we began another mini-project: cleaning out and painting the pantry at the compound. Aleena, Zach, and Ben all passed things out of the pantry to Hannah and I on the ground. Ketura and I sorted the stuff into groups and moved them when necessary. Things got moved to the shed and to the library, and later back into the pantry. Ben, Hannah, and Zach all worked on painting the pantry, so I felt like I wasn't needed there. I asked Ketura and Aleena if I could help them, so I did. I moved boxes around in the library and cleaned the glass for some jewelry cases.

We painted more shelves orange. Caitlyn, Ketura, Aleena, and I were hard at work making everything orange. We finished one room completely, but had to end it early because we did not have anchors to put the shelving back up and were running out of paint.

We played Uno, ate dinner, and were introduced to a sand artist. Eugene B. Joe told us his story (a quite long one at that) and showed us his work. He is apparently really well known for his work. I guess I really had the wrong impression of what sand painting was, because this looked vastly different.

Sneakily, we came together to also get enough money to get some sand art for John and Momma Lisa as a gift for all they've done for us at Wesley and the trip. We gathered in the girl's sleeping room and Rebecca counted and collected money donations from each of us. We were trying to be discreet but failing. (At least they never figured out it was happening!)

That night ended with several rounds of Uno, B.S., and Rebecca's own card game called "stupid head".

May 10th: Final Full Day Before Leaving

French toast kinda morning for breakfast. Yum. :)

Work-wise, there was little we could do. Shirley (the director at Four Corners Native American Ministry) did not get more paint or more anchors for the shelving. We did some housekeeping tasks: sweeping, vacuuming, wiping down tables, and so on. We took lunch early therefore we could have more time to do other things later in the day.

We spent a significant amount of time in the Navajo Arts and Crafts store where I found a feather necklace for my sister. All the jewelry was 40% off, so. 

At the Four Corners Monument it was very muddy. So muddy that it squished under our feet and our shoes would sink into it. 

We all took pictures in the center where the corners met. I stood on top of bench and tried to get pictures of others from that angle. I made several rounds past all of the vendors that lined the exterior. You could buy t-shirts, bow and arrows, paintings, sand art, jewelry, rings, rocks, arrowheads. One of the vendors named Sarah I talked to complimented my hair. She told me that it was only her second day back selling at Four Corners and I asked her a little bit about what she had on her table. She had hand-painted rock magnets with the four corners drawn on them; she told me that they were selling quickly today and that she picked the rocks herself. She tried to make sure to get the most flat ones so they'd be easier to paint on. Another vendor had some beautiful artwork and I asked him how long he had been painting. He said 30 years. Aleena and I split some frybread, our group got a picture together, then back to Shiprock we went. Our shoes were caked in mud, so before we could go anywhere, we went back to the compound and cleaned the layers of dirt that covered everything. I mostly washed my shoes outside under the spigot. For dinner we decided on Country Family Restaurant. Yes, those places exist on an Indian reservation.

The rooms were swept and cleaned as much as possible Friday night because no one would be motivated Saturday morning to do it. So we cleaned the rooms once more, much more thorough this time with the help of all Wesley members.

Ketura led a devotion that night, tying together essentially all the devos that were shared that week. John asked us what we would all take away from this trip and we went around the table and shared our answers. I think moments like that are what I truly love about Wesley, because no one held back. And what everyone said was vastly different and sometimes unexpected. No one is afraid to be their own person.

To finish the night strong, Rebecca presented John and Lisa with the card and sand art painting we bought for them. They were both shocked and so grateful. I really did tear up. Lisa wanted us all to sign the back of the painting and she said that they would pray for us every time they looked at it.

Until about 2 am, I stayed up writing notes for the rest of our group for the "warm fuzzies" bags that we would get to read on the plane. Ben, Hannah, and Ketura also stayed up.

May 11th: Tell The World That I'm Coming Home

The dreaded end.

Breakfast was cinnamon rolls.

We had to leave the compound by 9 a.m..

Tanner continued to DJ for the van ride to the airport, and we played "Bagel Wharf" again. As we sat there in the van for hours, I kept looking out the window and thinking to myself, this is really it. It's over. I watched the canyons and sagebrush blur by, and Shiprock disappeared out of sight. And I didn't really want it to end.

I tried to hold on to every second of laughter, every jam session, every photo op. I didn't want to leave. But all things must end.

We waited in line a while for our boarding passes as John and Rebecca dropped off the vans just in the nick of time. Lisa corralled us and finally got us into a groove to get checked in. We at lunch at the airport and explored some of the shops there.

I distinctly remember the airport carpet being vibrant and the pattern reminding of Navajo pottery.

As I boarded the first plane, the flight attendant questioned the lady behind me. He asked what news station she worked for-- she said WJCL in Savannah, Georgia. She does Marketing. The attendant mentioned that he majored in Communications, but was taking a break to do this. He wants to go back and get a Master's degree and hopefully pursue that again. He said he might talk to her later and get her information. I mentioned to the two of them that I was currently majoring in Communications. What a small world. But I met more people, too.

I met Yael on the flight from Albuquerque to Dallas. I was seated in the aisle, and she asked if I would trade with her. She had just had knee surgery. Then we got talking, she asked about why were in New Mexico, and she seemed generally interested in me, as well and Ben and Ketura who were in the same row across from me. She was catching a flight from Dallas to JFK; she's lived in NYC all her life. I taught her a little sign language and she showed me where my gate would be on a map in the back of the airplane's magazine. 

To say we briskly walked to our next gate would be an understatement. We booked it across the Dallas-Fort Worth airport to get to our gate before boarding started. As we ran, Tanner and Rebecca still managed to find time to stop at Auntie Anne's pretzels on the way there.

I sat next to Aleena and in front of Ben and Ketura for the last flight of the trip. It had turned completely dark outside. Aleena and I shared headphones and started watching Friends together, but I could not keep my eyes open. The only time I would wake up was to an attendant's voice asking if I would like something to drink. (Which of course the answer was yes, a Dr. Pepper please.) Naturally the flight felt shorter as fate would have it, so that the trip would be ending sooner. As we exited the plane, the attendant told me he wished me luck in finding a Communications job!

Aleena's dad was waiting for her at baggage claim. We got our bags there once we found the right spot, and took one last group picture. From there our Alcoa church friend picked us up in the church van and took us back to where all the cars we parked there were. People got there luggage from the church van and loaded it into their rides home. Many hugs were exchanged, and slowly cars left the lot in the cover of the night. It was past midnight. 

I said my goodbyes to everyone I could, and my heart kept telling me not to leave yet. But I had to. Hana Lee drove me to Savannah's apartment where I'd be staying the night.

I carried my pink duffel bag and 30 pound luggage up three flights of stairs.

I caught up with Savannah for a while, then unpacked just enough to take a shower to feel like a human again after a long day of traveling. It was bittersweet to get to spend this time with her, but I couldn't for very long. Then I laid down to rest in the stillness of the early morning that I was no longer surrounded by like 14 other voices. It was just me, and my thoughts. No Jerry, no yelling, no laughter, no airport intercoms, nothing. It was going to take some time to remember what that felt like.

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May 12th, I came home. My dad and sister picked me up in Knoxville. And here I am.

After every mission trip, you usually experience a high of God's love and just connection with others that's hard to come down from. I'm still riding on that high. I guess maybe that's what I wrote this, so I can look back and remember what it was like to feel that infinitely happy, to experience such infinite joy.

I am so lucky to have this little corner of the world as my own.

I am lucky to have Hannah, a friend who will never leave me and means the world to me.

I am lucky to have Rebecca, a fearless leader and mentor who puts up with the insanity that is Wesley.

I am lucky to have Ketura, who calms my mental storms in times of stress.

I am lucky to have Ben, who is eager to help others, smile, and laugh at my dumb jokes.

I am lucky to have John, who despite circumstances, will always be the bigger person and be a Godly person.

I am lucky to have Aleena, who is strong, sweet, and caring, and will sing ABBA songs all day every day.

I am lucky to have Zach, who will compose photos perfectly and would offer you the shirt off his back if he had to.

I am lucky to have Caitlyn, who fuels the world with optimism and authenticity.

I am lucky to have Carson, who isn't afraid to be herself and lives independently.

I am lucky to have Tanner, who cares so deeply for everyone and always wears a smile.

I am lucky to have Olivia, who will put people into their place no matter what and is a hard-worker.

I am lucky to have Momma Lisa, with her vast medical, worldly, and cooking knowledge that make me into a better person.

I am lucky to have Hana Lee, who will do almost anything without hesitation and is always welcoming to those around her.

I became closer to people I barely knew before the trip, and even closer to those I already knew. I learned from people on the reservation like Shirley and Calvin just how unique and beautiful the Navajo culture is, I learned from experiences that life can be chaotic but still be beautiful.

And above all, I learned that taking the time to be still and appreciate God's work. Well, there's nothing more rewarding than that. This week was beautiful in every sense. Not in the typical, perfect way. But in the way that only Wesley can provide, and I'm okay with that. I wouldn't trade it for the world.